AT THE END OF THE DAY:A LOOK AT THE MYSTERY OF DEATH
In late 2019 and early 2020 when coronavirus stealthily crept into the universe, it started infecting and killing people with reckless abandon. Death became a stark reality even for seemingly healthy people. To drive corona death away we started washing hands, using nose masks and we practiced social distancing with all our hearts. All this we did, so that we will not die of covid-19. Covid-19 is life-threatening. We saw friends and family who battled with covid-19 infections. Those who could not fight the demon of Covid-19 gave up the ghost. The rest of us became afraid. We did not like the lockdown, but we had to go through it to stay alive.
Why do we feel sad, cold, threatened, and afraid at the mention of death? This is a rhetorical question as I surely do not expect anyone to dance and leap for joy when they hear about the subject of death and its inevitability. We behave as if death is alien to us, and as if it is something sinful and strange to die. Some people do not want to hear anyone talk about death. It scares them!
Ever since I had the opportunity of attending two soul-inspiring and life-changing seminars on Midlife Transition and Conversion of Heart facilitated by Sr. Mary Providentia Marinze, IHM, I left the lane of those who are uncomfortable with talking about death and thinking of it. During the seminar, I realized that many people in midlife often shy away from talking about death. Sr. Marinze challenged me when she said she sometimes contemplates the mystery and reality of death during her alone time with God. This has therefore made her to be more conscious of the fact that she has to LET GO of many things in order to LET GOD.
I also remember that Sr. Helen Maris Oyekanmi often says she enjoys singing funeral songs. Indeed, she has a passion for such songs. She published a booklet of funeral songs and scripture readings on death during the silver jubilee anniversary of her religious profession. Strange kind of, isn’t it? I assisted her in getting some famous quotes for her book, but in one corner of my mind, I was thinking that she is weird for wanting such a souvenir for the anniversary of her religious profession.
Eight years later, I too have reached the stage of those who can talk freely about death. Thanks to Sr. Providentia Marinze, IHM, the great Clinical Psychologist! She is very thorough and down-to-earth in her presentations. Now, I wonder why we freely talk about weddings, naming ceremonies, graduation, birthdays, etc, but we squirm once someone talks about death. In fact, someone who I told what I was thinking of writing about assured me that the Editorial Board of The Catholic Voyage will reject my article for publication, and I just laughed.
We have forgotten that our death day was also born the very day we were given birth to. Death is sure to happen to every human being. It is just that we cannot tell with absolute certainty the day it will come, nor the exact venue it will meet us. Death cannot happen twice. No! It comes once, and that is it! We need the courage to be able to face it. Some people are very much afraid of death. They hate to attend funerals or see the body of a dead person.
The fact remains that death is very much hanging around us and living daily with us. It is not a respecter of age, colour, height, gender, status, profession, race, colour, tribe, or religion. Death can come in any form: through sickness, accident, while sleeping, etc. It is not the manner, form, place, or time of death that matter. Let us always remember that Jesus, the Son of God died a 'shameful' death on the cross at the young age of 33. All the same, let us pray against sudden and unprovided death.
I am very thankful to the Sisters in my community who welcomed the idea when I suggested that we should have our Bible Sharing for the last Tuesday of February 2020 on the subject of death. We used these passages as our guide: 1 Corinthians 15:53-55, Ps 23:4, Rm 6:8-10, Thes 4:13-14. While preparing for the faith and Bible sharing I got a divine inspiration to add some colour to it, that is, to be creative and unique about it by writing the word death in different languages. I also felt mandated to surround the word death with a shining and brighter marker to depict the fact that after our earthly sojourn comes heavenly bliss. After the pain of death comes the gain of glory.
As I am not a Polyglot I asked some of my friends to tell me the word used for death in their various languages. Eighty percent of those I asked were scared stiff and expressed shock. They asked me, “Has anyone died?” A particular person quickly placed a call to a neighbour of mine to find out if everything is okay with me. He even quickly called members of his own family to ensure that they are alright. Well, this only testifies to the fact that the subject of death is still approached by many with wariness and trepidation. However, I am delighted that at the end of the whole experience I got these new words added to my register: Iku (Yoruba), Mutuwa (Hausa), Onwu (Igbo), Mkpa (Efik), Ku (Tiv), Ikwu (Idoma), Wade (Fulani), Ughwu (Urhobo), Egwi (Afemai), Ughu (Esan/Edo), Uhu (Ora/Edo), Nmee (Kru – Liberia), Ku (Ewe/Togo), Morte (Italian), Mort (French), Muerte (Spanish), Tod (German).
We often celebrate the death of elderly people like a funfair as if only the elderly and the terminally ill possess a valid passport and visa to die. Let us be real with ourselves and always prepare for death by living good lives. We must be in touch with the reality of death, and train ourselves to be comfortable with talking about death.
And here comes the good news that wipes away our insecurity and fears. We believe what our Christian faith teaches us, that is, death is only a passage to more glorious life. Death is not an end in itself. It leads us to another more glorious and beautiful destination. This is why we strive to live an exemplary and virtuous life. We know too that the souls of those who live good lives (the righteous) are in the hand of God. (Wis 3:1).
Ash Wednesday is a very special day in the Church’s liturgical calendar. The day calls us to repentance, penance and death when the Priests put the ashes on our foreheads and say, "Memento, homo quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris". "Remember, man, you are dust and to dust you shall return” (Gen 3:19). I pray for the grace of a happy death for myself, all who are dear to me and you as you read this article.
In recent times, my Institute has lost some Sisters in quick succession all due to health challenges. We were devastated. We became forlorn, but because we believe in the resurrection of the dead and life everlasting, we did not mourn like the pagans. We know that for God’s faithful people life is changed, not ended. In the Institute of the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus (EHJ), we are stuck together in life as well as in death. That is amusing, is it not so? In our EHJ cemetery, we bury two Sisters in one vault! So sweet! They will be angels to each other.
I urge us all to train ourselves to learn to be comfortable with the subject of death. It is as real as the food that we eat. Death is always with us. We cannot run away from it just as we cannot run away from our shadows. We are only pilgrims on this earth. We were not created to be perpetually on the surface of the earth. We shall all return to our Maker, the just and merciful Lord, at the end of the day.
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PRAYER FOR A HAPPY DEATH
Oh, my Lord and Savior, support me in that hour in the strong arms of Your Sacraments, and by the fresh fragrance of Your consolations. Let the absolving words be said over me, and the holy oil sign and seal me, and Your own Body be my food, and Your Blood my sprinkling; and let my sweet Mother, Mary, breathe on me, and my Angel whisper peace to me, and my glorious Saints smile upon me; that in them all, and through them all, I may receive the gift of perseverance, and die, as I desire to live, in Your faith, in Your Church, in Your service, and in Your love. Amen.